Having intimate relationships can be the most wonderful thing in our lives, but at the same time, it can be difficult and complex. If you have found yourself in the latter category, then you might have been doing lots of deliberating and asking questions. For those who are seeking or lacking answers, it is worth looking into a good resource for relationship queries.
You might be surprised to find out that asking questions can be a gateway to having a wonderful relationship. Having good communication skills is a cornerstone to a strong relationship. Therefore, asking the right relationship questions can deepen your bond with your significant other, solve conflicts, and help you and your partner understand each other better. This piece explores the importance of asking questions in relationships, how it can benefit your relationship, and shares tips on how to begin.
There is a great temptation in day-to-day life to ‘know it all’ about your partner. But people change, and so do their needs and desires. This is why asking relationship questions takes on a new level of importance. They become the universal grease on your emotional machinery, the questions that will open you to new lines of communication, as well as the ones you have to ask over and over again.
Here are some that work really well.
1. Build the foundation How can we support each other in these competing demands so that we can live life on our terms? What are your values and beliefs, and why do you hold them dear? Do I honour your belief system when you share it with me? What are your life goals, and how can I help you reach them? What really bothered you about this discussion? The sooner we know about the stuff that annoys us, the sooner we can get past it.
2. Achieve emotional intimacy When I’m afraid, or insecure, or stressed, the last thing I want is to be touched. How can we avoid this trap? Can we create a safe space where we feel comfortable sharing our fears, vulnerabilities and insecurities with one another? I feel really pressured by you not to reveal my feelings, so it’s difficult for me to be intimate with you. What would be a good indication of this?
3. Create a negotiation style If something really irks me, I get incredibly maxed out. It’s hard for me to talk in that moment. What can you do to get me back to my thinking and neutral brain space? I feel so upset that you brought up the past – young children are really hard to raise. What can I do to make you feel more secure in the relationship?
4. Cope with change No relationship remains the same, and neither do you and your partner’s needs and desires. Regularly asking these questions ensures that you remain updated about one another’s ever-evolving worlds.
5. Build trust How can I make you trust me more? Do you think I’m a liar? I don’t want to get caught up in ethical issues; I would say anything to avoid that. You mean in my relationship and marriage? My relationship is more important but I don’t want to interact with my daughter like she’s incompetent.
Asking relationship questions is more than just a one-shot deal: it’s a practise for your and your partner’s day-to-day life. This practise can benefit your relationship in so many ways. It can help build a foundation, provide a path to trust and create a world of emotional intimacy.
Having a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your partner can sometimes feel ephemeral, elusive and beyond your control. The use of daily relationship questions will show your partner that you are in it with them for the long haul, dedicated to staying aligned. Start questioning, and watch your relationship bloom into more than you ever thought it could.