Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: How Therapy Helped an Executive Accept Her Successes
As a psychotherapist, I’ve dealt with a number of high-achieving clients who suffer from impostor syndrome. Despite their tremendous accomplishments, they are unable to internalise their success and suffer from continuous self-doubt. This was the situation with Olivia, a top executive at a big firm.
Olivia arrived to therapy feeling like a fake, always questioning her talents and blaming her professional success on chance rather than aptitude. Her impostor syndrome was preventing her from taking on new tasks at work and making her unhappy despite her apparent success. In our sessions, we used cognitive behavioural approaches to interrupt the detrimental thought habit. Here’s how it unfolded:
The First Step: Identifying the Imposter Cycle In our initial sessions, I had Olivia walk me through examples of when her imposter feelings would flare up. When she was assigned a large new job assignment, she would immediately think, “I have no idea what I’m doing; they’ll discover I’m a fraud.” If she earned acclaim for an accomplishment, she dismissed it as “dumb luck” or “anyone could have done that.”
I explained that this negativity bias stems from deeply ingrained thought patterns that become self-reinforcing cycles. We mapped out her “imposter cycle” – feelings of self-doubt led to destructive thoughts and emotional reasoning which triggered anxious behaviors like overpreparing and procrastinating. This perpetuated a sense of phoniness, which reinforced the original self-doubting feelings.
By diagramming this cycle, Olivia could visualize how her thought patterns were self-sabotaging. This was an “aha” moment – her imposter feelings did not reflect reality, but were distorted by ingrained cognitive patterns that could be unlearned over time with practice.
The Next Phase: Reframing and Realistic Thinking With Olivia’s imposter cycle out in the open, we worked on reframing her negative self-talk through realistic thinking exercises. Whenever she expressed a defeatist thought, I prompted her to explore the objective evidence that contradicted it. Her brain naturally sought out self-criticism first, so we had to retrain it to look at facts over feelings.
For example, when Olivia said “I didn’t really deserve that promotion – they just felt bad for me,” I asked her to logically examine the assertion. Did she put in years of dedicated work to reach that level? Did her performance reviews substantiate her capabilities? The evidence overwhelmingly contradicted her modest self-assessment.
At first, Olivia resisted, stubbornly clinging to her negative filter. But by gently persisting with objective questioning, the shaky ground her imposter thoughts stood on became apparent. As she saw how unsubstantiated and unrealistic they were, their hold started to loosen.
To reinforce realistic thinking, I had Olivia keep a running log tracking instances at work where she overcame self-doubt. Each time she received positive feedback, made an accomplishment, or had a success – no matter how small – she logged it as evidence disproving her phoniness hypothesis. Looking back at the mounting pile of proof bolstered her ability to internalize accomplishments.
Slowly, the locus of Olivia’s self-perception shifted. Instead of instantly discounting praise and evidence of her abilities, realistic thoughts like “I worked hard to earn this” or “I am competent at my job” became more automatic. Counteracting imposter feelings at the root cognitive level was key to breaking the cycle long-term.
Tools for Enduring Self-Compassion As we strengthened Olivia’s realistic self-appraisals, we also cultivated self-compassion to make those healthier self-perceptions stick. Imposter syndrome often stems from setting impossible standards of perfection – when those are inevitably not met, it fuels intense self-criticism. I taught Olivia self-compassion techniques to short-circuit that harshness.
We practiced self-compassionate self-talk, where Olivia learned to rephrase her inner monologue with kindness rather than brutal judgment. Instead of berating herself as “useless” or “worthless” after a setback, she would reassure herself: “You’re human and worked hard – it’s ok to not always get it perfectly right.” This unconditional self-support, not harsh motivational tactics, were more conducive to resilience.
Additionally, we worked on recognizing and allowing the natural ebbs and flows of confidence rather than making it a rigid imperative. Olivia’s perfectionistic leanings made her equate any bout of self-doubt as total self-delusion. We normalized the reality that everyone has fluctuating insecure moments – the goal wasn’t to achieve perfect unwavering confidence at all times. Growth comes from compassionately riding those waves.
To underline self-compassion, I had Olivia visualize how she would treat a dear friend going through similar struggles. She could easily access warmth, patience, and reassurance – then I prompted her to turn that caring stance inward for herself. Making that perspective shift revealed how unnecessarily harsh her self-criticism was.
As self-compassion tools replaced punitive self-judgment, Olivia’s ability to self-validate and absorb her accomplishments deepened. Like fortifying a muscle through exercise, consistently applying compassion made healthy self-acceptance more automatic and durable.
The Enduring Legacy of Change By integrating cognitive reframing, realistic thinking, and self-compassion over our sessions, Olivia gradually overcame her longstanding imposter syndrome. The mental roadblock that sabotaged her from internalizing success was systematically dismantled.
In stark contrast to her starting point of feeling like a total fraud, Olivia now possessed an objective self-view substantiated by evidence of her abilities. This unshakeable core confidence gave her resilience to push through waves of doubt without defaulting to harsh self-criticism. She could acknowledge and appreciate her skills without deflection or minimization.
Freed from imposter thoughts weighing her down, Olivia naturally stepped into bigger challenges and development opportunities she previously felt too insecure to pursue. She took on high-visibility leadership roles and drove impactful initiatives, no longer paralyzed by phoniness fears. Her growth trajectory skyrocketed as she shed the self-imposed psychological shackles that long restrained her potential.
Beyond professional impacts, overcoming imposter syndrome also enriched Olivia’s overall well-being. Breaking that negative cognitive cycle lifted the emotional burden of constant self-doubt and harsh self-judgment she internalized for years. With compassionate self-validation, her mental health improved, as did her ability to nurture close personal relationships without projecting her former phoniness onto others.
In our final sessions, Olivia expressed profound gratitude for reclaiming her sense of self-worth. “You’ve given me such an incredible gift,” she shared. “Not only can I finally take pride in my accomplishments, I understand the self-acceptance needed to create fulfillment both at work and in life.”
It was an honor to facilitate Olivia’s transformative journey overcoming such an insidious psychological adversity. Her courage to face and reshape deeply embedded thought patterns is a testament to the incredible growth possible through dedicated psychotherapy work. I’m overjoyed Olivia achieved the self-actualization that eluded her for so long.
Helping individuals like Olivia overcome imposter syndrome to realize their potential is one of the most gratifying aspects of being a therapist. If her story resonates with you and you’d like supportive guidance in your own growth journey, I warmly encourage you to explore working with a qualified professional. Dismantling psychological roadblocks unleashes incomparable personal evolution – the greatest investment you’ll ever make.